Hello to everyone who is reading this text.
I was the kind of girl that whenever I passed by someone, everyone recognized me by my laughter. Everyone called me “the smiling girl.” At school, at home, among my friends, everywhere, they called me the smiling girl and the girl full of happiness. Although I was not very happy when I came into this world, because I lost my father very early, as I grew up, I passed my days with laughter and I was very confident. I always said to myself, “Nadia can do everything.” I loved to speak everywhere and let everyone hear my laughter.
I remember that whenever there was an event at my school, I asked my teachers to let me give a speech. The night before I was supposed to speak, I could not sleep because of how excited I was, and I kept repeating the words that I was going to say. Then I would go and speak confidently, and my classmates and teachers would watch me with encouragement, and when I came home, I told my brother about it, and he encouraged me too.
I never liked to see my friends or one of my family members sad, so I talked with them and said, “The world is a beautiful place, just smile. Life is very easy, just smile.” I remember that in those days, neither my friends nor my family had ever seen me cry. There was always a smile on my face.
Until the day I came to university, I still had good days. Finally, I had taken one step forward in my life. With new friends and a new environment, my days passed well. But as time went on, the smile on my face slowly disappeared. There was something inside me that no longer let me smile.
I did everything I could so that no one would see my tears, but it was not in my control. Everyone saw them. Whether I was alone, sweeping the house, or washing dishes, tears were always with me.
This was the moment when the cheerful and smiling Nadia no longer existed. Someone else had come in her place, someone who did not seem like Nadia at all. Neither her laughter, nor her words full of confidence, nor the girl who always said that living is not difficult and life is easy—none of those things existed in the new Nadia.
Today, this Nadia says that life is very difficult. She says the world is not a beautiful place. She says it is the darkest place where I exist. There are many bad people here who always want to torture me and try very hard to destroy me. This is a place where no one wants me to smile or be happy. Everywhere you go, it wants to hurt you. This is not a beautiful place.
I have never seen someone called hope here, and here I do not know anyone named happiness or joy who could stay with me. It is very dark here. For a long time, I have been looking for a light so I can brighten my place, but I have been hurt so much that I have become tired, and I cannot find that light.
For a long time, I have been trying to find the cheerful and smiling Nadia and tell her, “Nadia, come and talk to your friends,” and tell her, “Life is easy and the world is a beautiful place, so smile.” But I cannot find her. I do not know where she has gone or what has happened to her that has made her so silent. I do not know why I cannot find her anymore.
